Welcome everyone. I am the Victorian and Tasmanian State Manager for Creative Partnerships Australia, and I will be convening today’s session with the wonderful Tammy Zonker. Before we kick off, we would like to acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of the land from which we are webcasting today, and we pay our respect to Elders past, present and emerging. Tammy is joining us from Detroit, where it is about 8.30 pm, so thank you, Tammy, for making the effort to stay up a little bit later. A little bit of housekeeping. We would like everyone to stay on mute, but we do encourage all your questions to go into the chat function. We will set aside some time towards the end of the session for questions and responses from Tammy. 

The other thing I would also like to mention is that my wonderful colleague Katherine, who has set all this up, will put a link in the chat function for those of you who have not signed up for our National Development Collective database. This is a function where we can arrange networking meetings and professional development opportunities for those of you working as professionals in fundraising and development. There it is. It has just popped up in the chat. If you have not signed up for that, we would certainly encourage you to do that. Today’s session is Securing the Major Donor Visit and Getting to Yes. To take us through this journey is the wonderful Tammy Zonker. 

Tammy is an international expert on fundraising and has raised more than half a billion dollars, including one incredible major gift of $27 million. She truly is an expert. Before we came live today, we were talking about the nuances in attitudes towards money in Australia. I know myself and my colleagues come across all sorts of emotional responses when people ask for money. I think it is part of the Australian character not to want to beg for money, not to be mendicant when it comes to money, and to really want to be self-reliant and in charge of the money question. But money is not necessarily just an unemotional issue. There is certainly an emotional dimension to asking for major gifts. On that note, I might hand you over to Tammy. 

Tammy has a wonderful presentation that we are going to go through, but as I said, we will have time for questions at the end. Thank you, Tammy. Over to you. 

Thank you, Stephen, and thank you everyone for making time this morning on the eve of, for many of you, freedom day, coming out of lockdown. I am so happy for you. Let’s get started because I have a lot of information to share. As Stephen said, we are going to be talking about securing the major donor visit, which can be so elusive, and getting to a yes. 

I want to start with a question because it is baffling to me. Why don’t donors want to meet with us? Why is it so hard to get a face-to-face or video-to-video visit with our major donors? Drop it in the chat. It baffles me because obviously we are charming. I can see from your faces that you are a charming lot. You are brilliant and very good-looking. Who would not want to meet with us and spend some time? Drop it in the chat. What are some of the reasons why you think donors do not want to meet with us? 

They are too busy. They hate to say no. They want to keep some professional distance. Australians are very polite, so you do not want to say no or to be put in a position. Zoom fatigue is a reality. They do not care to be hit up for money. Too many requests. I remember, in my youth, in my very first fundraising job, I met with a major donor. His name was John. I was so wide-eyed and innocent. I said, “John, this must be so amazing for you, to be able to make such a difference, to give away money and make such a difference for so many organisations in our community.” He truly was one of the community’s largest philanthropists. He peered over his reader glasses and said, “Tammy, it is harder than you think. I have to say no more than I ever get to say yes. I have to say no to really amazing projects.” 

All of the reasons that you stated could be right, depending on the donor. Here is what the surveys say. They are busy people, and some of you said that in the chat. Some of them do not see the value of meeting with us, and that hurts. But if we are just there thanking them and asking questions about them, not necessarily enriching their life, not necessarily bringing them joy or sharing the impact of how their gift is changing lives, they do not necessarily feel the value emotionally or otherwise after a visit. 

Some of them are uncomfortable in those one-on-one conversations. They are afraid of awkward silences. They know you are coming to ask them for money, which could be an indicator that maybe we have not done enough stewardship. If we only ask for money whenever we see them, or if that is their perception, it is understandable that they may be cautious. They are also concerned, in these times of pandemic, about meeting with us. Some are uncomfortable using Zoom or other video conferencing. 

Those are some of the reasons, along with the reasons you shared in the chat. There is a saying from Alexander the Great: “I have met the enemy and it is I.” Sometimes we set ourselves up not to succeed. When we request a meeting and say, “I just want to meet with you to thank you,” they have already received the gift acknowledgement letter. It is not always that interesting to them to spend their precious time being thanked. We need to rethink that as a strategy because we will get more noes when we say we are just calling to thank them. 

Sometimes we call and say, “I would like to schedule an appointment with you,” rather than scheduling a visit. The business of fundraising is a relationship business. You would not call your grandmother and say, “I would like an appointment with you.” You would want to visit with her. That is what we want to do with our donors. We want to visit with them. We have an appointment with the dentist. 

Another issue is over-asking and under-reporting on impact. If the only time donors see us is when we are asking for money, it is no wonder they want to avoid us a bit. If we have a history of not adding value during visits, not reporting impact, not giving inside information, and not leaving them with the joy of the impact their gifts have made, those are reasons donors do not want to meet with us. 

Another oversight is not inviting a board member, executive director, CEO, or peer whom the donor deeply respects, already knows, and who is also a giver, to join that visit and report on the favourite program the donor has invested in. Including a board member, another leadership volunteer, your CEO, or your creative director is one way to get more yeses to those visits, especially if you are bringing someone who makes it interesting. 

Another issue is not communicating in the donor’s preferred channel. If you are always asking for meetings on the phone and this donor does not like to talk on the phone, they are not calling you back. If this donor despises email and you are asking to meet via email, you are already annoying them. You want to invite them to meet with you for a visit through their preferred communication channel. It is okay to say, “How do you prefer that I reach out to you?” You will be surprised how many will say, “Just call me,” or, “Text me.” Sometimes we are apprehensive and think texting is too intrusive, but a lot of donors want to be texted. I have some data on that for you later in this session. 

Jerry Panas was an international fundraising legend who raised billions of dollars around the world. Sadly, he passed away in 2018 at the age of 92. He said, “When you get the visit, you are 85% on your way to getting the gift.” I think that is true. The visit is the hardest part. If you have done the cultivation, and you understand their interest, capacity and passion, the ask is quite simple. In most cases, it is nothing more than nudging the inevitable. But getting the visit, when time is so precious, is the hardest part. That is why we are going to talk about that before we talk about how to ask for the gift. 

What can we do differently to successfully secure our donor visits? The first thing is that we have to do our homework. We have to invest time understanding the donor, their passion points, their past giving behaviours, and where they have made investments before we request a visit, because that request has to be very specific to their interests. We need to prepare ourselves for calling or emailing the donor to request that visit. We need to ask for permission to ask for the visit. We need to be clear about the purpose of the visit and the amount of time we are requesting. We also need to give donors options for when and how we are going to visit with them. We are going to unpack each of those. 

The first one, as I said, is investing time to really know your donor. What is their giving behaviour and giving history? What are they most passionate about? What has happened? What has changed? What difference was made because of the last gift they gave? Have we reported that to them? Could we thank them again for that specific impact? 

Perhaps we can prepare to give them an update on that favourite exhibit, performance or program bringing arts into schools. Especially coming out of the pandemic and shutdown, they want to know what happened to their favourite program during this time. Now that we are opening up, what does the future hold? What is happening? When will it happen? How are we scaling? How will it all work? You have an amazing opportunity to get face time with your donors now because they want to know, and in many cases, they want to have a voice in it. Get that update. Be prepared to talk with them. 

Do a little research online. What other causes could this supporter be giving to now, and at what gift levels? It is always useful to take a landscape analysis with your donors. In the US, the average major donor, before the pandemic, supported about seven different causes, and I imagine it is very similar in Australia. Think about what industry they are in. Are they a business owner? Are they an executive in a company? If they are in health services or drop-ship consumer goods, they are probably doing very well right now, during a pandemic time when people could not pick up items at the shopping centre. If they are in tourism, it might have been a little rough over the last year and a half. 

Get in their world. What is going on with their employer or the business they own, and how might that affect their giving? How might that affect how well their life is going right now? We know our donors are more than just a source of contributions. They are people. They are people who share a passion for this cause, and we want to treat them accordingly. 

Ask board members for insights about specific donors. You might come to a board meeting and say, “Here are 10 donors, or five donors, that we would like to schedule a visit with. Who knows whom? What can you tell me about them? What is going on in their life right now? What else do they support?” You want to have those confidential conversations in a very honouring way. We are going to talk about mindset as well. 

To the degree that you can, based on their past communication behaviours, try to discern their preferred communication style. Do they always return phone calls and rarely respond to email, or vice versa? 

We are preparing for the donor’s experience. Now we need to think about our mindset. Your mindset is key to securing that visit. You need to be crystal clear. This is not just a visit because you have not seen them in a year and a half and it is time to see them. You need to be clear about your objectives. What do you want the donor to know, feel or do as a result of the visit? What more do you want to know about the donor, their passions and their intentions because of the visit? Be clear about your intentions for the visit. 

Define the outcomes. What are the next steps? What do you want to accomplish as a result of this conversation with the donor? Create some talking points or bullets. Do not use a script. This is a conversation. You do not read scripts with grandma, and you are not going to read scripts with your major donors. Create some bullet points so that when you call them on the phone or send that email, you can be clear about the purpose of the meeting, the time you are requesting, and the outcomes of that meeting or visit. 

Because you are calling or emailing them, you will want to have some dates and times available. It makes sense. If you have a donor on the phone and they say, “I would love to visit with you. It has been so long,” you do not want to respond by fumbling through your phone looking for open times. You want to have some times ready to offer. 

When you call the donor to ask for the visit, stand up. I am standing now because I know my voice sounds different when I am standing. It is clearer. I am projecting. There is more intonation and more emotion than when I am sitting and my diaphragm is contracted. Many of you work in the arts. You are singers, and you know how this works. Stand and smile. It makes all the difference in the world. People want to meet with people who have energy, who are projecting, and who are interesting. Remember, this is a visit, not an appointment. 

Often, you will get voicemail. Be prepared to leave a compelling, intentional and clear voicemail. “This is Tammy with the Detroit Opera Theatre, and I am calling because I would love to visit with you. We have a lot of updates. We are opening up. A lot of things are changing with your favourite program, the children’s youth choir, and I want to share that with you. I want to tell you how we are reopening and get some of your input on plans for the future. I only need 30 minutes. Please give me a call back and let me know what might work for you.” 

There is no doubt when they hear that voicemail. They are not wondering, “Is she going to be asking for a gift? Is she calling to hit me up for money?” No. She wants to give me an update on my favourite program. I would be delighted. Is this making sense? Many of you are probably doing this, but we have not had a lot of donor visits in the last year and a half. Very likely, there have been many fewer than you are accustomed to. It is time to refresh our approach and be more intentional so we can be more successful. 

Here is a simple fill-in-the-blank script. You are not going to read a script, but this gets you going: “Hi, Margaret. This is Tammy with the art museum. Do you have two minutes?” If they say, “I really don’t. The plumber just walked in. The dog is barking,” you can say, “No worries. I understand. When would be a better time to call back?” Assuming they say they have two minutes, you might say, “We have some exciting opportunities emerging. We see some challenges emerging. There are some major changes occurring in the program that is their favourite, and I want to talk about that with you. That is why I am calling. Are you willing to schedule a 30-minute visit with me?” 

“However you want to do it. If you want to visit face to face, that would be delightful. If you would prefer a conference call or a Zoom call, I totally respect that. Whatever works for you. I have a couple of dates and times. Do you have your calendar handy?” That is how purposeful and prepared you need to be. “Thank you so much. I cannot wait to connect.” 

You could do the same invitation through a letter. There is an emerging approach called asking for permission to ask them for a visit. You can do this when you encounter them at the grocery store, the hair salon or the barber shop, now that we can get out a bit more. You can also send a handwritten note or a letter. 

Here is how it could read as a letter: “Dear Margaret, thank you for the love and compassion you have for our youth theatre. You and your family are such an inspiration and bring so much joy to the lives of so many in our community. COVID-19 has had a massive impact on our ability to gather and perform, which has been heartbreaking for community members like you, as well as volunteers and staff. But we are beginning to open up, and that is why I am writing to you today. I will be calling you in the next week or so to schedule a visit. I am asking for 30 minutes of your time to discuss our reopening and recovery strategy. I would love your perspective. I would love your feedback on those plans for the future. I look forward to talking with you soon.” 

It sets the tone: “I am going to be calling you, and this is why.” Are they more likely to answer when they see your number show up on their phone? They know what you want. Nowhere in it does it say, “I am going to ask you for money.” You can also do it as a handwritten note. 

You can also ask for permission to ask them for a visit by email. Maybe you are corresponding on a completely different topic and you say, “By the way, would you be willing to talk with me sometime? Would you be willing to visit?” Or, “I recall your interest in Sydney Nolan. Could we talk more about the possibility of bringing an exhibit of his work to our museum? We are trying to do that, and I would love your feedback.” Again, you are letting them know, whetting their appetite and igniting their imagination around the programs and the work they love most out of all the things you do. 

“May we schedule a 20-minute visit?” You are not asking for lots of time. I have done this many times. When you say 20 minutes, they often say, “Let’s just have tea. I have about 45 minutes. We could schedule that.” Rarely do they keep you to 20 minutes. 

Asking for permission to ask for a visit can also happen by text. I would like to see a show of hands. Do you text your donors? Do you feel that you have permission to do that? I see some hands going up. Some of you do. A lot of you do not. I suspect it is because you do not feel you have quite enough permission. I encourage you to talk with your donors and have a conversation. You could say, “I know so many people are texting these days, and it is such an efficient way to stay in touch. How do you feel about us texting on occasion?” 

Not as though I am going to be blowing up your phone every Friday or Saturday night, but, “How do you feel about us exchanging text messages on occasion when we have an important update, or maybe there is a little story or video I would love to share with you? Would that be okay?” That is enticing. That has value to them. A little story or video is something they may enjoy. 

Texting is growing in popularity across all age demographics. First, it is the number one feature used on a smartphone. You might think a smartphone would be used mostly for telephone calls, but it is not. It is mostly used for texting. Texting open rates are 98%. Do you think 98% of your emails are opened? Probably not. You are nearly nine times more likely to get a text response than to get a response from a voicemail or email. Ninety-five per cent of text messages are opened in five minutes or less. Do you get return phone calls in five minutes or less? I do not. 

Here is a stereotype-busting fact. Ninety-four per cent of seniors, so people over 70 years old, text daily, sending an average of 11 text messages. It makes sense, especially in our pandemic world, or hopefully post-pandemic or semi-post-pandemic world, because this was one great way to stay in touch with the young people in our lives, such as grandchildren, nieces and nephews, who are obsessed with texting. My son has texted me from upstairs. 

Here is one caveat I want to reinforce. Texting is great for relationship building, for sharing exciting news, and for sharing little video snippets of a rehearsal or a piece of a child’s art. It is wonderful for contributing and sharing information. It is not the appropriate tool for making an ask. That is probably stating the obvious, but I wanted to state it clearly. 

The fourth strategy in making certain that donors agree to visit with you is to have an agenda. Rather than saying, “I am calling to have a visit so I can thank you,” which does not sound that interesting because they may feel they have already been thanked, you could say, “I really want to visit with you to talk about your giving priorities for the coming year. There is a trend that a lot of supporters are changing their giving habits in the post-pandemic economy, and I wanted to talk about where you are in that.” 

That is an effective conversation with someone you have already built a lot of trust and a strong relationship with. It is not a getting-to-know-you, first-date or second-date question. Asking for feedback, input or their perspective on something can be a very effective way to have a visit. There is an old saying: “If you want someone’s opinion, ask them for money. If you want someone’s money, ask them for their opinion.” We really do want their feedback. We really do want their opinions. 

I try not to ask for advice, because there is something about the word advice that implies we want to follow it, or that we are going to follow it. Sometimes supporters can get upset if we do not take their advice, but we absolutely want their feedback, input, perspective and point of view. 

You could say, “I would love to sit down with you and talk about a few names of people who have shown interest in our organisation, but we do not know them well. I think you may know a few of them. Could we have a confidential conversation about who they are and how we might build a stronger relationship with them?” I have had amazing supporters who are willing to have those conversations, including billionaire kinds of supporters. 

Whoever is influential in your community and giving to you has a lot of relationships and would likely be helpful. Not gossip. They are not going to provide gossip. That is inappropriate. But information about relationships, circles of influence, what clubs people may be members of, and what their philanthropic interests are can be useful. 

Maybe you want to meet with them to share the impact of their past giving or announce an exciting new program or initiative. As we begin to open up, donors want to know what we are doing now. How are we going to scale back up? How are your cash reserves? Have you dipped into your endowment? These are the things they want to know, and they will be willing to visit with you to learn about that. 

You might also share insider information. If you have a fundraising challenge or an organisational challenge, they have points of view. Many of them are brilliant strategists in the business world, and their input can be invaluable. If you think a donor is upset with you, or you have heard that they have a concern, you would want to address that with them. 

You might say, “This is Tammy with the museum, and I am calling because I would love to catch up with you. I know there has been a little bit of tension around how that program was handled during the pandemic, and some hurt feelings. I want to get your opinion on it and clear the air.” People appreciate candour. You would have those kinds of conversations with people you love if there was an elephant in the room or tension. Healthy relationships have conversations about conflict and tension, and this should be a relationship just like that. 

The fifth thing you want to do when asking for that visit is to be clear about the agenda and the amount of time requested. You have seen that in some of the examples I have given. Time is precious for so many supporters. It is often more precious than money. They know they can make more money, but no one can make more time. You have to be respectful of their time. 

First, be on time for the visit. Everyone intends to be on time, but people can be late. Maybe it is the first time you are coming to their office or home, and you get turned around. When I am visiting a donor at their home or office and I do not know where I am going, I will drive by on the Saturday before or during the week, just so I can say, “That is where I am going. I have got it. I am confident. I am crossing three railroad tracks, so I had better go early.” If you get there early, park down the block. Do not knock on the door early. 

If you said, “I would love to visit with you for 30 minutes,” and they said, “Thirty minutes it is. I will see you on Tuesday,” then about 20 or 25 minutes in, you can say, “I want to be respectful of your time. We have about 10 minutes, or five minutes, and I want to be sure to get your point of view on this.” Nine times out of 10, the supporter will say, “I have a little bit more time.” I encourage you to block out more time, even though you booked a 30-minute visit, because the donor will likely give you more time. Do not count on it. Count it as a blessing or a cherry-on-top surprise if they do. 

You have to have an agenda that can fit in the timeframe you promised. Always thank them for their time. Thank them for their point of view. Even if you disagree with their point of view, it is their point of view and it has value. Recap any agreed actions. If you said, “I am going to follow up with you on this and I will send you that thing by email tomorrow,” recap that. If they said they were going to make an email introduction between you and a person of influence, recap that too. 

Schedule the next visit while you are there. “I would love to follow up with you in two weeks,” or, “What timeframe works for you? Would it be okay if we meet again?” Ask for permission to meet again, and then get it scheduled. You want them saying yes to something, or to multiple things, in that visit, even though you did not ask for money. There is a psychology to saying yes. There are endorphins created when we are affirming and engaged. You want that good feeling, whether it is yes to the next visit or yes to an email introduction. You want the donor to be in the habit of saying yes to you. No one feels good about saying no, so you want them to say yes to things that are easy for them to say yes to. Scheduling is the hardest part. 

Sometimes, when you are asking for a visit, there are objections. Someone might say, “I am too busy right now. It is crazy. We are reopening and trying to get everyone back in the office.” You can say, “I understand, and I promise we can meet for just 20 minutes. I am happy to come to your home or office, or even set up a Zoom, whatever is easiest for you.” Give it another try. If they say no, say, “I understand and respect that. When do you think you will be settled into the office? Could I follow up with you in two weeks? Could I follow up with you at the beginning of next month?” 

Maybe the donor says, “I already gave.” You can say, “I know, and we are so grateful for your generosity. I am not looking to make an ask during this visit. I want to share the impact of your last gift and run a few ideas by you. I will not be asking for money during this visit, so please take that off the table.” They may then say, “In that case, let’s schedule it.” 

If they say, “We give to other causes that are a higher priority for us,” you can say, “I respect that, and I would really like your advice anyway. Would you be willing to give me 20 minutes?” If they say, “Now is just not a good time,” you can say, “I understand completely. May I follow up with you in two weeks?” You want to be prepared for the most common objections so that you are ready, positive and a little tenacious. They will respect that. 

You want to offer a couple of options for when and how you will visit. We are beginning to open up, and some people are excited to see others in person, even if it is masked or within whatever rules are in place. They want real human interaction. They want to go for a walk with you, meet you for coffee, or have you over. It is becoming spring where you are; they might love to sit in the backyard or on the front porch and have a lovely visit. 

Others may feel high anxiety about opening up. Both responses are valid, and so is everything in between. You need to know and respect what they want, and adhere to that. It also has to work for you. Work out together what in person looks like, or whether Zoom continues to be their preferred way to meet. Consider the time of day, the day of the week, and whether the visit should include your executive director, a board member or another leadership volunteer. 

Be prepared to offer what is most engaging for the donor. If the donor loves the youth dance program, maybe bring along the program director for that group. If the donor loves a particular program, you could bring along the creative director. If this is a high-potential donor and those programs are the reason they will accept the visit, do what you can to leverage those resources. They are busy too, so this is not for every visit. It is for the most critical, high-potential visits. 

Donor visits are not just for major donors. Some of you are managing major donor portfolios. Some of you are managing monthly donor or middle donor portfolios. These same kinds of face-to-face visits or small group visits can be very meaningful. You can use the same strategies and tools to get visits with those supporters as well. Some of you may have alumni, students, or parents of students you want to visit with, and you can use these same strategies. 

Some people will need a warm-up. They are not ready to meet with you one on one. Maybe it is a pandemic issue, or maybe they just do not know you well enough. You do not have a strong enough relationship yet, and they are nervous. Some people are concerned about awkward silences. One on one feels like too much pressure for them. They may wonder what they are going to say or what you are going to talk about. For them, you may want to do some pre-warmup engagement. 

I am working with a youth theatre in Detroit, and what they have been doing through the pandemic is having a Zoom once a quarter with 10 or 12 top supporters. They give an update on how the kids are doing. In addition to arts enrichment, the kids are getting character and leadership development through those programs. How are the kids doing in a hybrid school setting and trying to engage in arts programs that have limited capacity, density requirements and masking requirements? It is like a state of the union or a from-the-stage conversation. These small group sessions, whether they are in person, socially distanced or online, are a great way to get people re-engaged in a more comfortable format or setting. 

That can warm them up so they are willing to meet with you one on one a little later, a couple of weeks later or a month later, especially if they had a chance to engage with you and hear you speak. They might think, “Sylvia is not so scary after all. I think I could have a wonderful conversation with Sylvia.” Think about how you could do some small group things to warm up your supporters and let them stick their toe in the water, rather than jumping in all at once as we open up and can make face-to-face visits. 

Another strategy is dropping off a pre-visit token of appreciation or a post-visit token of appreciation. I work with a literacy group, and some of the things they have done include dropping off little literacy packages. Maybe it is some children’s books with a little box of cookies. They package them up in a basket and drop them off on the front porches of some of their top donors because they know those donors are reading to their grandchildren. Maybe these are tokens of appreciation that you mail. Maybe it is a simple sticker with your logo on it, children’s art from the art program, or photographs of some of the installations. You might say, “I know you have not been able to come to the museum recently, but I wanted to send you this picture to remind you that we are here with this beautiful art.” These should be modest, mission-focused and inexpensive. 

We do not want donors thinking we are spending their hard-earned donations and contributions on things. These should be more organic, mission-focused, grassroots tokens of appreciation. 

After you get the major donor visit, communication afterwards is critically important. You did all the work to get the visit. If you drop the ball afterwards, it is all for naught. The trust built in that visit might be broken. The donor might think the conversation did not go as well from your view as they thought it did, because you are not following up. They are not hearing from you, even though you recapped what you were going to do. 

The basics need to be covered after a donor visit. First, update their record. Whatever donor management system you are using, you need to put your notes and action items, with ticklers, in the database. I know that is often unpopular. It can feel like drudgery for fundraisers who love human interaction, but you owe it to your donor to do this. 

Add a follow-up tickler on your calendar for that next touchpoint, appointment or visit. If they said, “Please do follow up at the beginning of next month,” mark your calendar. Call Margaret. Send a follow-up email, or even better, a handwritten note. “Thank you so much for the lovely visit. I learned so much. You ignited my imagination. You helped me see another perspective.” Whatever is authentically true, put that in a handwritten note thanking them. Time is precious. 

You also want to convey any key learnings to your CEO or board members. Maybe you learned that one of your supporters lost a loved one, lost a spouse, or is struggling with their own health considerations. You want to make certain to put that on the radar of others so that you can extend kindness, encouragement and check in on them. 

Assess how what you learned may influence your donor development plan. Maybe you had three future actions planned with this donor, but you learned something that will modify those actions. Document that so you do not forget. 

Reflect on any emerging trends in these donor conversations. If you have had four visits and three out of the four have mentioned a concern about something, then you may need to send out a proactive communication about that issue. If three out of four visits brought it up, chances are a lot more people are thinking about it as well. 

That is how we get the major donor visit. We invest the time at the front end to understand the donor, what they care about, how they like to be communicated with, and what might be going on in their world that we are not aware of during this time of pandemic or as a result of the pandemic. We prepare ourselves, our mindset, our energy and our intentions. What do we want out of this visit? How much time are we asking for? 

We want to get permission to ask them for a visit. When I have asked for permission for a visit, I have never received a no. I am not special. All you are saying to someone is, “Would it be okay if we talk sometime?” They say, “Of course.” Who is going to say, “No, I do not ever want to talk to you”? Then a week or two later, when you call, you can say, “This is Tammy with the Detroit Opera, and it was such a delightful conversation when we bumped into each other, or when we had that email exchange a couple of weeks ago. I am so grateful you were willing to visit with me, so I am calling to schedule that visit.” They will remember that they agreed, and they will follow through. 

Be clear about the purpose of the visit and the amount of time you are requesting. Donors will be much more likely to say yes if they know what the visit is about and can be prepared. Give your donor options for when you will visit, what dates and times are available, and whether you will meet face to face, on the phone or by Zoom. Work around and accommodate their calendar. 

Follow up on the agreed actions. Recap the actions and do your follow-up. That is how you successfully get the visit and make the visit valuable for them. That is the recap of how to get the visit. I would like to spend the rest of the time talking about how to make the ask. That is always something on our minds. Am I doing this right? Maybe I have not done this in a while and would like some new tools or strategies for how to ask. Let’s do that now. 

What is the number one reason that people do not give? Drop it in the chat. They were not asked. That is exactly right. Brilliant. Of course, they were not asked. So let’s ask, but let’s ask well. Let’s ask with honour and respect. Let’s ask for things that bring our donors so much joy. That is the intention of philanthropy. The Greek meaning is rooted in love of humankind. That is the approach we take to fundraising, especially major gifts. 

What holds us back? What holds us back as fundraising professionals, and certainly board members or other volunteers who might be helping us fundraise? Basically, we are afraid. We are afraid of rejection and failure. We are afraid of embarrassing ourselves or saying the wrong thing. We are afraid that if we ask for money, especially our volunteers, then that donor may ask them to support their cause. There is a whole expectation of reciprocity. Everyone is fearful that they do not have the knowledge, confidence or lived experience to be successful in asking for money. 

Talking about money is also taboo. Were we not all raised with messages like, “Do not talk about money,” or, “Do not be rude”? I know I was. There are sayings such as, “Money does not grow on trees,” or, “We are not made of money.” We all have that baggage. Whether we were born to modest means or born with significant resources, there is a lot of baggage and taboo about money. 

Here is what I want to emphasise. When you look at the major donor development cycle, there are five steps. Discovery is where we do as much homework as we possibly can to understand the donor, their passions, capacity, inclination and connection to us as an organisation. Once we have done as much discovery as we can, we never have all the information we need, but we cannot get stuck in discovery. We cannot have analysis paralysis. At some point, we need to move into cultivation. 

Cultivation is having a visit, or two or three, and getting to know the donor. It is talking about programs, community needs, the dreams and vision for the organisation, and how we get from here to there. It is also seeing what sparks for them. Eventually, we must make the ask or solicitation. Then we recognise that gift, when they say yes, in a way that is appropriate to the donor’s interests and sensibilities, and appropriate to the gift value. Then we steward that gift. We report back on how the gift is making a difference. We thank them, and then we begin again. 

Discovery is roughly 20% of the process. Cultivation and stewardship are a combined 70% of the process. Recognition and asking, together, are 10% of the process. When we think about asking for major gifts, we often think, “It is so intimidating. It is so scary.” The truth is that this is relationship building, and the tiniest part is asking. Asking is about 5%. 

If you build relationships, and if you are authentically connecting people and their passion to your organisation, you are the conduit. You are not manipulating people. You are creating a pathway for what they want to do anyway, to help their passion and their dreams for your organisation and the community come to life. Then it is not scary at all. It is just like any other great relationship, where we are meeting one another’s needs. 

Here is the high-level process. We schedule the visit, and you are now masters in scheduling those visits. Look out. Your calendar is going to be full. We are going to meet at their location and on their terms: the coffee shop on Monday morning, their home on Thursday afternoon, the office on Wednesday, or whatever they want. 

We are going to identify talking points, especially if you are going with a board member or your executive director. If there are more than two of you, be clear about the purpose of the meeting, the outcomes, the talking points, and who is covering what. Reassure the volunteer that if they miss something, you will fill in the blank. You will just flow with it and work together, but you need to rehearse in order to find your flow together. 

You do want to have the ask documented. Not that you are going to pull out the proposal and put it in front of them, especially if it is a simple gift without a lot of restrictions or complexities, but you would have it available as a leave-behind. Connect that offer or ask to impact. Asking is never about the money. It is about what the money will do for the community and for those you serve. 

Negotiate the gift details. If you say, “I am asking you for $100,000,” they may say, “All at once?” I would respond, “What would work for you?” That is what I mean by negotiating the details or terms. Propose some recognition and get the donor’s feedback on that. Gain commitments to next steps. Those are the high-level steps following discovery and cultivation, where we reach solicitation and recognition. Stewardship is the follow-on after the gift. How did it change lives? 

Let’s talk about preparing for the ask. How many of you ask for money face to face in normal times? Is your job to ask for money, or is it at least part of your job? I am seeing hands. When we talk about asking for money as fundraisers and professionals, I think it is so important that we bring integrity and honour to those conversations. I really believe that fundraising is sacred work. We are connecting generous people with giving hearts to causes that bring joy, enrichment, culture and quality of life to children, families, seniors and communities. We are the conduit, and we need to hold the bar for integrity and honouring our donors. 

I had a practice when I would come to a board meeting, a development committee meeting, or even a team meeting with my development staff at the Children’s Center, when I was chief philanthropy officer there. I had an 8.5 by 11 piece of paper, and I had printed the word donor on it in the biggest font that would fit. I put it in a clear plastic sleeve with a safety pin at the top, and I would stick it in a chair next to me because I wanted us to be in the practice of talking about donors as if they were in the room, honouring their generosity, spirit and passions. 

I never said, “We are going to hit him up,” or, “He is low-hanging fruit.” Our donors are not fruit. We should not talk about them like that. Donors do not have special pants with deep pockets, and we do not put the squeeze on people. There is such scarcity-based and dishonouring language that can creep into major gift work. We have to be the ones to say, “That is not how we talk about our donors.” We, as professionals, are not begging for money. We are creating a pathway between what people want to do and what the community needs from our organisation. We are like sherpas. We are clearing paths. We are not begging. I am proud to be a fundraiser, and I hope you are too. 

When we are in a group with board members, leadership volunteers or other donors in the inner circle of our organisation, and we use dishonouring language or allow others to use that language, they may be sitting there thinking, “I bet they talk about me this way too.” Then we turn to them and ask, “Who do you know?” They may think, “I do not know anyone, because I am not going to have you hit up my neighbour or put the squeeze on my mum.” We have to set the bar and operate in the space that this is honouring, sacred work. 

When I am getting ready to make an ask, there are four components to it. This is how I do it. It is probably similar to at least some components of how you do it too. The first thing is when I sit down with a supporter and we are having this visit, they know it is an ask. We have gone through the cultivation process. They are saying things like, “How can I help? What can we do? What is next?” When they start shifting from, “What are you going to do with your project?” to, “What are we going to do with our project? How do we make this happen?” they have shifted from being an observer to being in. 

Listen carefully to their behaviours and language. We are sitting down. They know it is an ask. I start with a gratitude statement and acknowledgement. When preparing for this, I will close my eyes and think about how generous these people are. What are the attributes? What are the things they do that make them unique? How grateful am I? What have they done for us and our community through their giving and leadership? 

I start with gratitude and acknowledgement. Then I ask a question related to their experience with us. I make the ask, then I am quiet and listen. Then I respond accordingly and prepare a follow-up plan. After that, we finalise the details. 

Let’s unpack this. The first is the gratitude and acknowledgement statement. I might sit down after our warm-up conversation, once we have our tea, and say, “Margaret, I was getting ready for today’s visit and I was so excited. I was thinking about all the incredible things you have made possible these past several years. Do you remember when you rented that big bus so we could take all of those kids out to the event? Do you remember how amazing that was? And then remember that other thing?” 

If I have done my cultivation well, during the cultivation process I probably asked them, “What are your proudest moments with us?” or, “What is the most meaningful gift you have ever given?” I am using what they told me and feeding it back to them as, “I heard you. I see you. You are incredible.” And they are. You did this great thing, you did that great thing, and you did this great thing. That is the acknowledgement and gratitude component. 

Then I move on to asking a question, because you do not want your ask to be one huge monologue. You do not want to take one big deep breath and say, “Margaret, you have been such an incredible supporter. We are really trying to bring this new exhibit to the museum, and I was wondering if you might consider giving $100,000. If that is too much, it could be less. It could be over time.” No. You want to have a dialogue. You want to have a conversation about this, not one big monologue that you have been thinking about for months and need to get out. 

We do the gratitude and acknowledgement, and then we ask a question such as, “You have been involved for 20 years, isn’t that right?” Or I may ask, “What has been your most meaningful experience in all those 20 years?” Not only did you give to that and the other things you mentioned, but you also introduced us to John and Diane, and then they did amazing things. That would never have happened without that introduction. It is remarkable. I call this my memory lane. Let’s walk down memory lane of how amazing you are and how you are changing lives. It is authentic. It is true. They are amazing. 

Then I say, “That has been incredible. You have met so many needs, and the needs keep coming. As we discussed in our last visit, we are trying to bring this particular program further into the region. We want to continue doing it in the city centre, but also take it into more rural areas.” Whatever the ask is, I talk about the need, the impact and what it will cost. “This is a $500,000 project, and I am asking you to consider a gift of $100,000. I have some recognition ideas we can discuss, but first I want to hear from you. What do you think?” 

Ask for a specific dollar amount to have a specific impact. Let them know you have recognition in mind, but do not jump too quickly into the recognition details. It is like saying, “Will you marry me? What colour will our bridesmaids’ dresses be?” First, you need to know how they feel about the amount before you talk through all the recognition opportunities. It creates more of a dialogue. 

Then we negotiate the terms. Maybe they say, “I really need to think about this.” You can say, “I respect that you need to think about it, and I understand. Should I follow up with you next week? What can I provide to help you make the best decision possible?” Make the ask, listen and respond appropriately. Ask for a specific amount. Be prepared to offer a multi-year option. If you give the example of $100,000 and they ask, “Do you mean all at once?” you can say, “What would work for you?” 

They might say, “I could transfer some stock,” or, “We could do $50,000 now and $50,000 at the end of the year.” Do not jump to say it could be over five years. Let them problem-solve. Another approach is to say, “Would you consider making a gift between this amount and that amount?” For example, between $100,000 and $150,000, or between $10,000 and $30,000. The lower gift amount is often what anchors in their mind, so I do not like the gift range approach, but it is something many fundraisers do. 

The other tool is using a gift range chart. This is mostly what I like using in a capital campaign feasibility study, where we say, “Here are the gifts that are needed for the project. Where do you see yourself?” Here is an example of a gift range chart from a major gifts campaign that I did at the Children’s Center. The goal was a million dollars, and we figured out how many gifts we would need, at what levels, and how many prospects. I might say, “Where would you see yourself? Can you see yourself in these top two levels?” 

What I really prefer is that you have done the cultivation thoroughly enough that you have a strong idea, so you can ask for a specific gift amount and have an impact statement for that gift amount. It is hard to have a gift impact statement for a range. 

There are common objections to a major gift ask. For those of you who are practised in making major gift asks, you probably hear some of these. Someone may say, “That is a lot of money.” My response is, “It is a lot of money, and it is going to change a lot of lives.” Then I am quiet. 

They may say, “Business is really bad right now.” You can respond, “I am sorry to hear that.” You should have known that from discovery and from those conversations. If they are in tourism, of course business may be bad right now. But if you are surprised and they say business is bad, you can say, “I am so sorry to hear that. What timeframe do you anticipate for a turnaround?” You keep the conversation going. 

They may say, “I am just not as excited about this project.” If we have done the cultivation well, we know the offer we are making is tied to a project they love. But if they say, “I am just not that excited about this project,” I would say, “Forgive me. I must have misunderstood. What would you be excited about?” Then the conversation can keep moving. 

They may say, “I need to talk with my wife,” or, “I need to talk with my financial advisor.” You can say, “Wonderful. This is something I really do want you to think about. What information can I provide to help you make the best decision possible? Would you like me to come back another time when your wife is available and we can all talk about it together?” During cultivation, I would probably have asked whether they and their spouse usually make giving decisions together, or whether they have their own causes. If you have done thorough cultivation, you will not get as many surprises. 

There is also the indecisive response: “Let me think about it.” You can say, “Wonderful. Can I follow up with you in a week or two weeks? What works for you?” You also need to be prepared for what happens if they say yes, and what happens if they say no. 

If they say yes, then what? If they say no, thank them. Thank them for everything they have done and for being an amazing partner. You might say, “I totally understand this is not the right time for you. Can I check in with you in a month or so?” Or you might ask, “Do you know anyone else who might be interested in this project?” If they say they might be able to do it, you can say, “Wonderful. What more do you need to be comfortable with us moving forward?” Whatever it is, stay positive. There is a next step and a possibility. 

Finalise the details. You want to get that gift agreement signed. You want to make certain that the gift and the recognition are in compliance with your gift recognition and gift acceptance policies. But you also want to make certain this does not turn from relationship into transaction. They have just said yes to $100,000. Their heart is full for all the children, youth or seniors, and for everything that will be possible because of this expansion to the museum or ballet program. You do not want to move straight into, “Sign here.” 

You have to manage that gracefully. You could say, “Wonderful. We are so delighted. We would love to button up the paperwork for your commitment so we can move forward with the recognition and keep the project moving forward. Do you want to do that now, or should we set up a time for me to come back again?” You do not want to squash the joy in that moment. But if it is later, get a date and time. Document the gift agreement. Get the confirmation. Celebrate. 

I want to get into some Q&A, but first I want to tell you a short story. I love this quote: “People give to the magic of an idea.” That is also a Jerry Panas quote. The follow-on was, “People give to the magic of an idea to save lives and change lives.” I think that is true. 

I will tell you a story about a fundraiser who had his go-to donors. I hope you all have your go-to donors, meaning the people who always bridge a gap. Let’s say you are $10,000 shy of a project goal, and they say, “I can give $10,000 more. I have got you. You can count on me.” Or there is a special appeal or special need, and you go to them first because they are with you on the mission, they have the capacity, and they always write that cheque and make it happen. 

This fundraiser had a tradition. He would go into the office, open the paper, and read it first thing in the morning with his coffee before 8.00 am. He saw a picture of his donor with the headline, “Jim Jones gives a million dollars to feed the hungry.” The fundraiser was upset and hurt. He wondered how that could have happened. He paced around the office for a few minutes. By mid-afternoon, he worked up the courage to call the donor. 

He called and said, “John, I saw the paper this morning. Congratulations. How nice for you and them. But I have to ask you. I know you are so passionate about our organisation. You always meet a need. You always step up. You are one of our biggest champions. Why them? Why did you give them a million dollars and not us?” The donor said, “Very simple reason. You never brought me a million-dollar idea.” 

That speaks to the need for us to be bold and brave enough to cast a vision and put opportunities in front of people who have the capacity, the inclination, the connection and a demonstrated behaviour of loving our causes. Why not bring them the million-dollar idea, the $100,000 idea, the $500,000 idea, or the $27.1 million idea? Sometimes our money baggage, shame, or our own point of view about money gets in the way. We think, “I could never give that much money,” or, “I could never ask them for that much money.” We have to set all of that aside. We have to be the conduit and say, “This donor can make this happen. That would bring them incredible joy, and it would bring this community transformation through the arts.” 

I ask you to think big, to be brave, to be bold, to be honouring, and to bring integrity and passion to your major gifts program and to building and strengthening your donor relationships. Then you will get the visits. You will put forward the magical ideas that people will find joy in. That is what we want to do, and you can do it. I am going to stop sharing my screen and take some questions. 

Tammy, thank you so much. That was incredible. So much to unpack. I am sure I speak on behalf of everyone present to say well done. Thank you so much. There was so much in there for me about sacred work, authenticity, and being our most honest and vulnerable selves when we approach donors. I think that is incredibly effective. It put my mind to many occasions where donors, after a gift or after a project has been realised, have come up and thanked me for the opportunity to be part of something they find meaningful and want to belong to. That idea of meaningful belonging, and what we offer in terms of people being able to connect, is incredibly important. 

It is beautiful. What you described is beautiful. 

While we wait for a few questions to come through the chat, I wanted to ask you about one of the techniques, for want of a better term, that I see working well. In fact, it is what we base one of our leverage funding programs on. It is the idea that we are building a community around donors. When we speak with a donor or seek a gift, often a useful conversation is around pledges. If you can pledge an amount that we can then get matched by another cohort or community of donors, that is often an effective way to build that community and a selection of donors. Often donors do not want to be the first adopters. They want to see who is in the pool before they jump in, so to speak. I am wondering about your thoughts on leveraging pledges towards securing donors. 

I think it is an incredibly powerful and effective strategy, especially for major donors who fit that investor persona. They may be executives or entrepreneurs, and they love the idea of leveraged money. Their gift can be a multiplier or an incentive. It can also demonstrate their leadership. If there is a pooled challenge or matched gift where they are with a small group, they can feel honoured to be part of that group or among their peers. I think that is an incredible and effective strategy. 

That seems to work incredibly well in our particular context. 

I would like to invite our group to put some questions into the chat if they have any. Maybe your presentation has been so comprehensive that there are no questions left unanswered. I do not know. We do not have too many questions coming through the chat. I should remind everyone that the slides will be distributed to you after this presentation, so please sit tight for that. I should also let you know that at the conclusion of this presentation, when you sign off, there will be a short questionnaire that we would love you to fill in. It will only take a couple of minutes, but we would really love your feedback. We are on a journey of continuous improvement here at CPA, so we do want to get better at things. If you have two or three minutes to complete that questionnaire, that would be terrific. 

We have one question. How would you express a request for an ask visit? 

Because we gave examples like, “This visit is not about asking. This visit is to give you an update.” When you have done the cultivation well, the donor is saying, “What is next? How can I help?” Even the $27 million gift that Stephen referenced, which we talked about in one of the earlier Knowledge Series sessions, ultimately came from the donor saying, “What would it take to turn around five more schools?” That is the big buying signal. They are ready. 

That is when we can say, “I would be delighted to put together a proposal for what I think would be next, in alignment with the things we have talked about and what you are most passionate about. Maybe we set up a time to visit about what is next and how you might help.” I am very straightforward. It is never a surprise when I make an ask because we have been talking about it. 

Another example might be, “Margaret, it is Tammy with the Detroit Opera House, and I am calling today because we have talked about the passion project you have given us so much feedback on. We are ready to launch. We have prepared this, and I want to come to you first. When might we visit and talk about how we can partner on this project?” It can be that straightforward, because it is something they want to do. It is something they would be honoured to do. 

I have made those asks, and I am sure many of you have, where you ask for the gift, they say yes, and then everyone bursts into tears. It is true. I had one situation where I was meeting with a couple in a restaurant. This was early in my career, and I was asking for $25,000. It was the biggest gift I had ever asked for. I remember walking around the house just trying to say it so it would roll off my tongue: “$25,000. $25,000. $25,000.” 

We got to the restaurant. I said, “I would like you to invest in this project.” Right away they said, “How much?” I said, “$25,000.” Before they could even respond, I burst into tears. They said, “Is that not enough?” They thought I was crying because it was not enough money. All that to say, it is joyful, and that is how we set up the visit to make the ask. 

I think this whole area invites us to live with a sense of abundance. It reminds me of an analogy. Has anyone really been offended by you overestimating their wealth? Generally, I think no one is really offended if you aim high and put out a number, provided you are confident and that is the real number. No one really gets offended by having their wealth overestimated. 

I have heard that as well. Just do the homework to get as close as possible, but if you are going to err one way or the other, err on the side of generosity. 

We have a few questions in the chat. One is around an awkward mindset, being nervous, and how you might overcome that. 

Even when I am getting ready to present at a conference, or make an ask, anytime I am nervous in life, I reframe nervousness as excitement. It is not, “I am nervous.” It is, “I am excited to talk to you tonight. I am excited to talk about this project.” I shift it. It is not nervousness. It is excitement. 

Another question is, how long should we wait with no reply before a cordial follow-up? 

If I have called for a visit and they have not responded, my general rule of thumb is that I will leave a voicemail. If they do not respond, I will leave another voicemail about a week later. I might ask around: “Are they on holiday?” If they are around and just not responding, I will make a call the next week and send a follow-up email. 

If that does not work, then I will either leverage a peer, or my executive director or CEO. I might leave one more message with a little more enticement, such as, “Lisa and I would love to have a visit with you. We were talking about you the other day, and I told her I had reached out. She said she would love to join us. I am following up to see if the three of us can get together.” Of course, Lisa wants to be there, and I will be as charming and endearing as I can be in that meeting, so Lisa will follow up with me later. 

Probably the last question is around further advice to follow up with a prospect who may have said no outright. I always think no is never no. No is just not yet. What would be your advice around the best way to pick up a conversation once you have received a really firm no? 

I would ask a few probing questions. “I totally respect no. Just help me understand, does that mean no right now, or no to this project? Tell me a little bit about your no.” They might say, “I am really not interested in that project at all. I am more interested in this.” Then I will help them pursue that. 

Or they might say, “We set a goal for how much we give annually, and we have exhausted that.” You can say, “Wonderful. Might we follow up and be part of your consideration for next year’s philanthropic budget or philanthropic goals?” I try to find another way or another time that honours them, their time and their pace, and keeps the conversation going. 

We have come to the end. On behalf of everyone here, thank you so much for an incredible presentation, such a dense and wonderful presentation. We look forward to connecting with you again in the near future. To everyone who participated, thank you so much for your time and energy. The next webinar in the Knowledge Series is not too far away, so please join us for that. 

Until then, from Creative Partnerships Australia, thank you so much. Please do take two or three minutes to fill in our quick questionnaire. Thank you all very much. Thank you everyone.